You know, some days I

You know, some days I just love reading my horoscope:

“You’re having a particularly hard time communicating with almost everyone around you. Now may be the time to escape a little; perhaps check out some new QuickTime videos or tune out to RealAudio sounds.”

WOO HOO!! I finally have an excuse! It’s in the stars! Don’t believe me?

Yes boys and girls, it’s

Yes boys and girls, it’s migraine time. It’s feeling like someone’s been trying to scrape my brain out of my skull with a melonballer. Make that a dull melonballer. Luckily I haven’t hit the puking-and-hate-the-world phase. I’m still in the plain ol’ hate-the-world part. It’s not too bad if I don’t do any strenuous activity like, oh say BREATHING. Ow – those capitals hurt.

On the brighter side, my ice hockey team had its first victory last night – a 7-1 win. What can I say? When we decide to win, we decide to win. Winning is good.

I’ve just noticed something unusual

I’ve just noticed something unusual and felt that I should tell you people, just in case I’m never heard from again. There is a tape dispenser sneaking up on me. Somehow, it’s crawled up to the top of the cubicle and seems to be rather close to me. In fact… I think it’s a little closer than it was a few minutes ago. This is rather worrisome, since I’ve only had three Cokes so far today. I think I’ll need a couple more before I can reach my prime escape speed.

If you don’t hear from me soon, look for a fat tape dispenser with an evil look about it.

Ahhhhhh… Productivity, thy name is

Ahhhhhh… Productivity, thy name is Caffeine. for some reason we have a TON of Coke in the fridge here and I’m a happy little camper. Not to mention there was a piece of cake in the breakroom to swipe some frosting from. I made sure and took it from the back so they couldn’t tell. BWAH HA HA HAAAA.

Errr… that was diabolical laughter, by the way. Uhhh… yeah.

Down with boy bands! Here’s

Down with boy bands! Here’s something fun to do while Napster still exists – hunt up a nice cheesy novelty song (Christmas ones are my favorite) on beloved Napster. Find a boy band song out there that’s relatively close in size and rename your novelty song to this one. If the sizes are off a little bit, give it a DJ mix name. Having a novelty song bigger than the boy band song is ideal. this makes it look like they’ll have more to listen to. The teeny-bopper downloads the file (56K users make me giggle), excitedly double-clicks the file and hears:

“Jingety jing!
HEE HAW HEE HAW
It’s Dominic the donkey!
Jingety jing!
The Italian Christmas donkey!”

Guaranteed minutes of entertainment! Be careful though – Dominic the Donkey is now my favorite song on my playlist…

Sitting here, bored out of

Sitting here, bored out of my skull and tired as hell, but I can’t go to bed yet ’cause I’m drying some clothes I idiotically washed a little while ago and there are some I have to take out in a little while. So, with that mindset in place, I’ve been playing around at Classmates.com You know, it’s that place where you can go and feed in all of your personal information so the people who beat you up and took your lunch money now know where to beat you up and take your stock options.

Two thoughts occurred to me while wandering aimlessly through the site:

1) There are a lot of my classmates in here! I wonder if they just signed in as themselves to see who else was in there. Too bad for them they’re not as paranoid as yours truly, who wasn’t about to sign his real name in there.

2) I wonder if any of my former classmates are going to be pulling out their dusty old yearbooks to see if they really graduated with a “Myah Butreeks” or what exactly “Richard Hertz” looked like. I tried to limit myself to two new classmates, ’cause I was giggling too much when I’d see their names pop up on the list. I think the neighbors are starting to wonder about me. Maybe tomorrow I’ll sign up as “I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt”.

Come on people! The Simpsons! Get with it! Geez. I guess I’ll just have to be Amanda Huggenkiss.