Take THAT, evildoers!

Posted on by Astro

I’ve finally taught my office chair a lesson.

You see, it has this idiotic little lever on the bottom that, when lifted, causes the chair to immediately tilt downwards and forwards. Naturally, the makers of this chair figured the best shape to carve this handle in would be a big paddle that points downward. That way, when Astro sits like he often does when working and/or thinking (note that the two can be mutually exclusive) with his feet under the chair tippy-toe style (okay, I’ll have to take a picture later so you understand), he will immediately press the lever as soon as he turns, thus dumping him forward and releasing a torrent of curses upon the unknowing world.
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I have this image of styrofoam in my head

Posted on by Astro

Two little facts of life occurred to me today:

1) If your girlfriend makes you wonderful cookies with powdered sugar on the top, don’t take them back to your computer to eat. The slightest puff of air from your face, be it nose or mouth, will coat your keyboard with a light white powder.

2) One of the more disgusting feelings in the world is to be convinced that a glass is full of Sprite and realize in mid-gulp that it’s ordinary water. I have no problems drinking water, but when you’re expecting bubbly and sweet you’ll probably do a Danny Kaye spit-take too.

The Health of a Moondoggie

Posted on by Astro

Remember all of those allusions I was making to medical problems and medical procedures and the like? Well, I just got done yesterday and have a mostly clean bill of health. Rather than life-threatening problems with my body, I just have embarassing old man-style problems. Hooray for me! Many thanks for all of you out there who were thinking positive thoughts for me.

Say, could you pass me that little inflatable pillow? Thanks.
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A Note for a Possible New Reader

Posted on by Astro

Just in case he happens by here, I’d like to once again thank Patrick for reading through my email and at least getting far enough through it to see my web address and wonder who the lunatic is who’s emailing him. Sorry again to bug you, man!

Ho ho hoooooooo!

Posted on by Astro

Well, last night we had our First Annual Snowqueen Christmas Extravaganza. I even made some Commemorative Christmas CDs for everyone (I’m only showing the front cover so the RIAA doesn’t come after me – ya nevah know). Basically, it was our regular Sunday crew gathering to exchange gifts, eat chicken nuggets and watch the Anna Nicole Smith Show. It’s a good thing we had time to let the nuggets settle before watching the ANSS. Man, that episode went from funny to sad and ugly in record time.

But who wants to hear about that? What we all show up for are the presents, right?
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A Long and Winding Road

Posted on by Astro

“In a situation like this, I always ask myself, what would my hero Edward R. Murrow think? And I think that Ed would think that this was censorship. Then I think about what my other hero, General George Patton, would think, and I think George would think that radio and television ought to be cleaned up, and if he were alive today, he’d take two armored cavalry divisions into Hollywood and knock all those liberal pinheads into the Pacific! So as you can see, I’m a very confused man. And when I get confused, I watch TV. Television is never confusing. It’s all so simple somehow.” – Les Nessman, WKRP in Cincinnati
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Great. Just wonderful.

Posted on by Astro

So I’m walking through the Government Center T stop and an MBTA cop passes me going the other way with a dog sniffing around. “Cute dog” is my first thought. “Cute bomb-sniffing dog” is my second. Uh oh. Now I’m wondering if I should be messing around with my Palm Pilot. Don’t want to look like I’m setting a timer or anything…
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