Return of the badass

Posted on by Brian

It finally happened again – we won a game! And we beat the third-ranked team, no less. Beat ’em like a rented mule, 8-3. I wound up +2 for the night and actually skated a little more like my old self through the first few shifts. Of course, that quickly caught up with me and I was dogging most of the rest of the game.

I also felt a little more of my old self by harassing their defensemen and goalie. The defenseman I always wound up against was at least a half foot taller than me and quite a few pounds. Big ol’ Grizzly Adams lumberjack lookin’ dude. He actually complained to the ref about me pushing him around in front of his own net. Turns out lumberjacks are pansies.
Read more

A quick update

Posted on by Brian

Three reasons why I haven’t answered your emails or posted anything lately:

1) My monitor is currently sitting in little pieces on my office floor. No, I didn’t have the final breakdown. My monitor’s been acting really wonky for awhile now, acting like it wants to pull a Yorick on me. Luckily, Barb found a site that explains how to take apart and repair your LCD monitor. I’ve finished the taking apart part, now I’m in the “waiting for the parts to arrive” stage.

2) Barb kidnapped me on Friday. It was my “Done with Chemo” surprise, one week early. I’ll tell you more, but it’s taking a looooong time to type it all up, especially since I have no monitor at home.

3) I have a mix CD to put together and get out by Friday for the MonkeyFilter CD Exchange.

So eventually life will calm down again and I can get back to writing occasionally. Whee.

Oh, and in case I don’t get to say anything before then, tomorrow is THE LAST TREATMENT. About time.

The end is near

Posted on by Brian

Well, one more hockey game is in the books. We played the number one team in our division, which meant an 8-2 loss for our team. Personally though, I wound up being +1 for the night. I would like my Selke trophy now, please.

I wound up missing the first ten or so minutes of the game due to traffic being a complete parking lot on 2 East. It took around an hour to make the 9.8 mile journey. I was a little stressed when I got there. I wound up arriving just as the warm-up ended and wound up wearing myself out trying to get all of my gear on quickly. Idiot. Then, of course, I go out on my first shift and give 180%, which means I give 80% on my next shift, 50% on the next and so on through the rest of the game. Oy. But I did what I could to keep the puck out of our net, including flattening one of their players before he could get a breakaway or pass the puck.

And I still haven’t gotten a penalty. I blame the cancer. We now have three more games left, one of which was rescheduled to the day after my chemo, so I have two left. And no, we’re not going to make the playoffs – one of the few certainties in life…

Speaking of which, next week is my LAST TREATMENT! A few more days of feeling like crap and I’m done! My little gift for myself? I’m designing myself a “Cancer is my bitch” bumpersticker to apply to my truck. I’ve found some places that will do short sticker runs for pretty good prices. Oh yeah!

If I didn’t respect Bill Watterson so much, I’d have them make a Calvin peeing on cancer, but I do and I live in the upper class north, you know. Meh.

The Results are in…

Posted on by Brian

Went to the doc yesterday for the results of my latest PET Scan and… we’re almost there. The doc who read the exam actually used the phrase “dramatic improvement!” I’ve now gone from Hodgkin’s all through my chest and lymph system to a small spot of activity in the center of my chest (where a huge mass was before). They also picked up some activity in my left pectoral area, but they’re not quite sure what is causing it, as there’s no lump to match it up with on the CT portion of the exam. Dr. Davis thinks it might just be an inflammation of some kind that’s giving us a false positive, so we’re going to keep an eye on it.

So, at this point, I’m not completely out of the woods yet. But I have two more treatments to go, so I’m definitely in a pretty good sized clearing. At this point, I think it’s safe enough to say it:

Cancer is my bitch.

Let’s hear it for #22!

Posted on by Brian

Here’s one more way Brian Leetch and I are alike (not the record part – the last bit) :

“Boston’s Brian Leetch scored in the first period and assisted on Nick Boynton’s goal in the second to become the seventh defenseman — and 69th player — in NHL history to reach 1,000 career points.

‘I hope they don’t mention I was on the ice for all four goals in the loss,’ said Leetch, taking care of that himself. ‘Hopefully they won’t remember that, because that was disappointing.’ ”
Read more

Ten down, one to go…

Posted on by Brian

Yesterday, my white blood cells were back up to above-normal levels, so I got to have my chemo treatment. Two more to go now!

I think my body got used to not having chemo after three weeks, ’cause it seemed to hit me harder than usual afterwards. Back to the old school tired. This morning I don’t feel too bad though.

Now it’s off for a PET scan to see just how much of the cancer’s ass we’ve kicked. Time to go drink some gross drinks and sit around for awhile. Yay.

And this afternoon, I am NOT going to forget my Neulasta!

Now we’re 1-4

Posted on by Brian

Well, we lost last night’s game, but I think we all felt better about this one. The score definitely didn’t reflect the effort we put out this time. They just had three or four really good players who would skate through us and fake out the goalie. Final score: 10-5. Ouch. We did manage to get a short handed goal on them, though.

I feel a lot better about this game and my playing than I did last week. I think as long as the team plays well and tries hard, that makes me feel and skate better. I wound up being -2 for the night, even after being on the rink for two goals. I had a part in both of those goals, as I was doing my usual excellent job of screening the goalie. I might have gotten credit for one of them, but I don’t know, simply because I’m not sure of how it went into the net.

All in all, a much better game, and probably the best I’ve skated/played so far. The season’s finally starting to look up! For me, anyways.

Bad, but not horrible news

Posted on by Brian

Some bad news on the chemo front – my white blood cell count was too low to get my treatment. I guess that Neulasta shot is doing something besides making me sore and tired after all. What does this mean? Well, first, it means I’m really depressed. Second, it means the treatment gets put off for a week. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do to make my body produce more white cells. Luckily, there’s also not much I can do to prevent it from making them either. So now it’s just a waiting game until next Thursday, then we’ll do another blood test and see where I stand. Ugh.
Read more

Now we’re 1-3. Ugh.

Posted on by Brian

Well, another crappy night of hockey. Not quite as bad as my initial game, but pretty close, especially since I couldn’t blame the skates this time. I think I’m still not quite recovered from the cold I picked up awhile back. I just hope it hasn’t killed off enough white blood cells to keep me from getting my chemo today.
Read more

Sick and Tired

Posted on by Brian

Well, no hockey last night. There was hockey to be played, but I couldn’t play it. I wound up catching a cold/flu type of thing from Barb, naturally right after my last treatment. I’ve been recovering ever since. Yesterday most of the congestion and stuff was gone, but every muscle in my body was unbelievably weak. I had to sit out my first game.

On the plus side, I was going through some of the Hodgkin’s message boards the other day and discovered that I actually am rather tough and unbelievable. Possibly even badass. There were many posts where the poster would talk about how long it took them to recover from each treatment, or people who had their last treatment a month ago and are wondering when they’ll be able to walk up a flight of stairs without losing their breath.

I’m playing hockey and I still have three treatments to go.

In some ways, it makes me feel better, realizing that I really am tough when it comes to this stuff and understanding why the doctors and nurses look at me the way they do. On the other hand, when I feel like I feel now, I can’t just give in to the tired. I know that I’m stronger than this and it shouldn’t be bothering me, even though in all reality it probably should. It’s just a continuation of a neverending tug of war in my brain. Just one more way to beat myself up, I guess.

Next week, I’m back in the rink though. Just watch me.